Back in 1932 I was 32 years old and a fairly new husband.
My wife, Nettie and I were living in a little apartment on
Chicago's Southside.
One hot August afternoon I had to go to St. Louis, where
I was to be the
featured soloist at a large revival meeting. I didn't want to
go.
Nettie was in the last month of pregnancy with our first child.
But a lot of people were expecting me in St. Louis.
I kissed Nettie
good-bye, clattered downstairs to our Model A and,
in a fresh Lake Michigan
breeze, chugged out of Chicago on Route 66.
However, outside the city, I discovered that in my anxiety at
leaving,
I had forgotten my music case. I wheeled around and headed back.
I found Nettie sleeping peacefully.
I hesitated by her bed; something was strongly telling me to stay.
But eager to get on my way, and not wanting to disturb Nettie,
I
shrugged off the feeling and quietly slipped out of the room with my music.
The next night, in the steaming St. Louis heat,
the crowd called
on me to sing again and again.
When I finally sat down, a messenger boy ran up with a Western
Union telegram.
I ripped open the envelope.
Pasted on the yellow sheet were the words:
YOUR WIFE JUST DIED.
People were happily singing and clapping around me,
but I could
hardly keep from crying out.
I rushed to a phone and called home.
All I could hear on the other end was "Nettie is dead. Nettie is
dead."
When I got back, I learned that Nettie had given birth to a boy.
I swung between grief and joy.
Yet that night, the baby died.
I buried Nettie and our little boy together, in the same casket.
Then I fell apart.
For days I closeted myself.
I felt that God had done me an injustice.
I didn't want to serve
Him any more or write gospel songs.
I just wanted to go back to that jazz world I once knew so well.
But then, as I hunched alone in that dark apartment those first
sad days,
I thought back to the afternoon I went to St. Louis.
Something kept telling me to stay with Nettie.
Was that something God?
Oh, if I had paid more attention to Him that day,
I would have
stayed and been with Nettie when she died.
From that moment on I vowed to listen more closely to Him.
But still I was lost in grief. Everyone was kind to me,
especially a friend, Professor Fry, who seemed to know what I needed.
On the following Saturday evening he took me up to Malone's Poro
College,
a neighborhood music school.
It was quiet; the late evening sun crept
through the curtained windows.
I sat down at the piano, and my hands began to
browse over the keys.
Something happened to me then. I felt at peace.
I felt as though I could reach out and touch God.
I found myself playing a melody, one into my head-they just seemed
to fall into place:
Precious Lord, take my hand, lead me on, let me stand!
I am tired,
I am weak, I am worn,
Through the storm, through the night lead me on to the
light,
Take my hand, precious Lord, Lead me home.
The Lord gave me these words and melody, He also healed my spirit.
I learned that when we are in our deepest grief,
when we feel
farthest from God,
this is when He is closest,
and when we are most open to His
restoring power.
And so I go on living for God willingly and joyfully,
until that
day comes when He will take me and gently lead me home.
-Tommy Dorsey
"But those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength. They will soar
on wings like eagles; they will run and
not grow weary, they will walk and not
be faint" (Isaiah 40:31).
(¨`·.·´¨)
`·.(¨`·.·´¨)
¸...¸ __/ /\____ ____
,·´º o`·,/__/ _/\_ //____/\
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¸,.-·²°´ ¸,.-·~·~·-.,¸ `°²·-. :º°
A smile is a light in the window
of the soul indicating that the
heart is home
